A Reflection on Neurodiversity
A story by Kirstie, Founder at The Wellness Initiative.
A year on from the day I learned I had ADHD.
A year has passed, and I finally feel ready to share my journey as a newly diagnosed 34-year-old woman with ADHD. I wrote this in 2024, hoping that one day I could use my experiences to support others—so here it is.
First, a gentle reminder: what we see on social media often doesn’t show the whole story. With the propensity for most people to only share the positive aspects of life on social media, it can feel like everyone is living their “best life”, and it’s easy to feel like we’re the only ones struggling, so I want to share another side of things—the day I learned I had ADHD. My goal is to provide a glimpse into my lived experience, in case it resonates with anyone facing a tough time right now.
2023 was a year that brought me many wonderful milestones—buying a house, achieving incredible things with The Wellness Initiative, and seeing life start to resemble the dreams I’d held. Yet, despite all these accomplishments, I couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness or a lack of real achievement. For much that year—and, truthfully, much of my adult life—I grappled with fighting low energy levels, waning motivation, and an overall struggle to find a feeling of presence in everyday moments.
To set the scene, in 2022, my personal and professional life was marked by overwhelming stress. To cope, I turned to my trusted self-soother: food. Using food for comfort boosted my endorphins but also led to a rapid weight gain of 15 kilos. Sadly, this was a familiar pattern for me—caught in a cycle of “yo-yo” dieting and using food as a coping mechanism, something that has been a recurring theme in my life.
By January and February of 2023, I found myself struggling to get out of bed due to an overwhelming sense of mental fatigue. Completing a full workday had started to become difficult, so I reduced my work schedule to four days a week to see if that might help my energy levels. Concerned, I also visited my GP and underwent every blood test imaginable to figure out why I was constantly battling to function. When all the results came back normal, I turned to my psychologist, suspecting I might be dealing with Depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). But having faced Depression before, this felt different.
In March, it felt like my mind ‘gave up on me’ and it completely shut down. Any attempt to focus or think felt like wading through mental sludge—everything became overwhelmingly difficult. I reached a point where I decided I needed to take time off work, as I simply couldn’t accomplish what I needed to anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but the experience left me feeling uncertain about how much longer I could keep going.
I went back to my GP, who asked, “Have you ever considered that you might have ADHD? It could explain the mental fatigue and some of your other experiences.” Her suggestion caught me completely off guard—I’d never associated myself with that diagnosis because I didn’t think I exhibited the symptoms.
As it turns out, despite my decade of experience working in mental health, I hadn’t realized that ADHD often presents differently in girls and women. Most of the research on ADHD has historically focused on boys and men. In the past, I have completely dismissed it relying on my limited understanding of the condition from male-centric research.
This marked the beginning of a journey: a month off work, weekly psychology sessions, a psychiatry referral, and subsequent tests leading to my ADHD diagnosis. At first, I was hesitant to embrace the process. However, as I delved into the limited research and information about ADHD in girls and women, I discovered something remarkable—it turns out I fit the profile perfectly!
So, what does this mean for me as a woman in her mid-30s?
ADHD means I have a neurodivergent brain—or, as I like to call it, a “neurospicy” brain! This means my brain is built differently from the general population. It also means the neurotransmitters in my brain don’t process certain chemicals effectively, particularly dopamine (often called one of the "happy chemicals"). Dopamine plays a crucial role in so many aspects of the body, including:
The past 12 months have been incredibly challenging, but they’ve also given me the opportunity to learn more about myself and understand why I seemed to experience life differently from others. I feel deeply grateful for the privilege of being able to take extended time off work and afford the costs of my medical appointments. I’m also fortunate that my journey aligned with a psychiatrist who was open to new referrals, which made the diagnosis process much faster than what many others face.
I’m incredibly thankful for those who supported me when I was struggling. To my team at The Wellness Initiative—thank you for stepping up and handling things so seamlessly while I took the time I needed. A very special thank you goes to my partner, who stood by me, as the passionate and driven person he fell in love with faced some of her hardest days—struggling even to get out of bed or shower. He made sure I ate, kept the house clean, and was my unwavering support throughout this entire journey.
I also want to express my heartfelt thanks to the few people around me who have shared their own experiences with ADHD and medications. Their openness and support have been invaluable in helping me navigate this journey and get to where I am today.
One year later, I’m back at work, loving what I do, and discovering just how transformative the right medication can be. It’s helping my neurodivergent brain finally process those crucial “brain chemicals” it struggled with before, leaving me feeling more present and joyful. Along the way, I’ve realized that many of my past behaviors were actually incredible strategies I’d naturally developed to navigate life with ADHD—and I’ve learned so much more since then.
I now embrace my brain for what it is—not worse, not bad, just different. That difference has enabled me to achieve incredible things, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your brain might have a little “spice” to it, I hope my story resonates or at least adds some authenticity to the often-curated experience of social media.
A year has passed, and I finally feel ready to share my journey as a newly diagnosed 34-year-old woman with ADHD. I wrote this in 2024, hoping that one day I could use my experiences to support others—so here it is.
First, a gentle reminder: what we see on social media often doesn’t show the whole story. With the propensity for most people to only share the positive aspects of life on social media, it can feel like everyone is living their “best life”, and it’s easy to feel like we’re the only ones struggling, so I want to share another side of things—the day I learned I had ADHD. My goal is to provide a glimpse into my lived experience, in case it resonates with anyone facing a tough time right now.
2023 was a year that brought me many wonderful milestones—buying a house, achieving incredible things with The Wellness Initiative, and seeing life start to resemble the dreams I’d held. Yet, despite all these accomplishments, I couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness or a lack of real achievement. For much that year—and, truthfully, much of my adult life—I grappled with fighting low energy levels, waning motivation, and an overall struggle to find a feeling of presence in everyday moments.
To set the scene, in 2022, my personal and professional life was marked by overwhelming stress. To cope, I turned to my trusted self-soother: food. Using food for comfort boosted my endorphins but also led to a rapid weight gain of 15 kilos. Sadly, this was a familiar pattern for me—caught in a cycle of “yo-yo” dieting and using food as a coping mechanism, something that has been a recurring theme in my life.
By January and February of 2023, I found myself struggling to get out of bed due to an overwhelming sense of mental fatigue. Completing a full workday had started to become difficult, so I reduced my work schedule to four days a week to see if that might help my energy levels. Concerned, I also visited my GP and underwent every blood test imaginable to figure out why I was constantly battling to function. When all the results came back normal, I turned to my psychologist, suspecting I might be dealing with Depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). But having faced Depression before, this felt different.
In March, it felt like my mind ‘gave up on me’ and it completely shut down. Any attempt to focus or think felt like wading through mental sludge—everything became overwhelmingly difficult. I reached a point where I decided I needed to take time off work, as I simply couldn’t accomplish what I needed to anymore. It’s hard to put into words, but the experience left me feeling uncertain about how much longer I could keep going.
I went back to my GP, who asked, “Have you ever considered that you might have ADHD? It could explain the mental fatigue and some of your other experiences.” Her suggestion caught me completely off guard—I’d never associated myself with that diagnosis because I didn’t think I exhibited the symptoms.
As it turns out, despite my decade of experience working in mental health, I hadn’t realized that ADHD often presents differently in girls and women. Most of the research on ADHD has historically focused on boys and men. In the past, I have completely dismissed it relying on my limited understanding of the condition from male-centric research.
This marked the beginning of a journey: a month off work, weekly psychology sessions, a psychiatry referral, and subsequent tests leading to my ADHD diagnosis. At first, I was hesitant to embrace the process. However, as I delved into the limited research and information about ADHD in girls and women, I discovered something remarkable—it turns out I fit the profile perfectly!
So, what does this mean for me as a woman in her mid-30s?
ADHD means I have a neurodivergent brain—or, as I like to call it, a “neurospicy” brain! This means my brain is built differently from the general population. It also means the neurotransmitters in my brain don’t process certain chemicals effectively, particularly dopamine (often called one of the "happy chemicals"). Dopamine plays a crucial role in so many aspects of the body, including:
- Providing feelings of enjoyment, satisfaction, and motivation
- Supporting memory processing
- Affecting sleep quality
- Aiding concentration and learning
- Helping with coordination and movement
- And a whole lot more!
- Stress-driven task completion: I can get things done, but my brain relies on stress hormones to push me, leading to nervous system burnout. I often need stress to feel motivated because dopamine differences prevent me from experiencing a sense of achievement.
- Internal hyperactivity: My "hyperactivity" shows up as constant mental chatter—endless lists and negative self-talk—which worsened with burnout. It feels like my mind is always racing, making it hard to be present or fully take in my surroundings.
- Forgetfulness: Without notes or calendar reminders, I struggle with working memory. This means misplaced items and occasionally interrupting conversations to avoid forgetting my point.
- Difficulty concentrating: Background noise and conversations in places like cafes distract me easily—imagine Scrat from Ice Age!
- Time blindness: My brain lacks an internal clock, so without alarms, I often lose track of time and end up late.
- Struggling with "doing nothing": My mind feels like it has a constant motor, pushing me to stay busy. Lazy days happen only when burnout forces me to stop entirely. This also manifests as me being super chatty.
- Fear of rejection and perfectionism: In the past, this caused me to avoid tough conversations, let boundaries slip, and seek approval from others. While it has helped me achieve, it often came from an unhealthy place.
- "Gearing up" to start tasks: I need music or podcasts to set the mood for chores or even basic things like cooking or showering. Without them, motivation feels out of reach.
The past 12 months have been incredibly challenging, but they’ve also given me the opportunity to learn more about myself and understand why I seemed to experience life differently from others. I feel deeply grateful for the privilege of being able to take extended time off work and afford the costs of my medical appointments. I’m also fortunate that my journey aligned with a psychiatrist who was open to new referrals, which made the diagnosis process much faster than what many others face.
I’m incredibly thankful for those who supported me when I was struggling. To my team at The Wellness Initiative—thank you for stepping up and handling things so seamlessly while I took the time I needed. A very special thank you goes to my partner, who stood by me, as the passionate and driven person he fell in love with faced some of her hardest days—struggling even to get out of bed or shower. He made sure I ate, kept the house clean, and was my unwavering support throughout this entire journey.
I also want to express my heartfelt thanks to the few people around me who have shared their own experiences with ADHD and medications. Their openness and support have been invaluable in helping me navigate this journey and get to where I am today.
One year later, I’m back at work, loving what I do, and discovering just how transformative the right medication can be. It’s helping my neurodivergent brain finally process those crucial “brain chemicals” it struggled with before, leaving me feeling more present and joyful. Along the way, I’ve realized that many of my past behaviors were actually incredible strategies I’d naturally developed to navigate life with ADHD—and I’ve learned so much more since then.
I now embrace my brain for what it is—not worse, not bad, just different. That difference has enabled me to achieve incredible things, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
If you’ve ever wondered whether your brain might have a little “spice” to it, I hope my story resonates or at least adds some authenticity to the often-curated experience of social media.